so easily do men forget

Over the weekend, my cousin told me the story of her friend, whom I shall name Angel.

Angel is well into her early thirties. She is a quiet, loving person who lives with her parents. She is the eldest in her family, therefore has the responsibility to look after her parents and younger siblings. Her current income is just adequate to cover hers and her family`s montly expenses. She lives in a quite town.

Unbeknownst to her parents, Angel has been seeing a guy (I`ll call him Jerk) for the past 8 years. He is almost 13 years her senior. Over the years they have been a couple, Jerk always suspects Angel of being unfaithful to him. She did not even feel comfortable talking to another guy, not even her male colleagues, in case Jerk finds out and accuses her of flirting, or worse, having an affair.

Whenever Jerk claimed he has financial troubles, Angel forked out whatever amount of money she can spare to help him out, sometimes sacrificing her personal needs. Even her generosity did not stop Jerk of accusing her of behaving like a cheap woman.

You might wonder, as I have been wondering ever since I heard this story, why on earth did she even bother continuing her relationship with Jerk?

Typically, her answer was that she loved him more than love itself. Angel truly believed in heart that Jerk will eventually marry her and trust her. She trusted him so much that she slept with him even though not once he acknowledged her as his future wife in public. Now, sleeping with a guy before marriage might not seem like a big deal to some, but to someone like Angel, who is a traditionalist and who believes that virginity is a gift to be given to your future husband, this is a BIG thing. This should somewhat explain how much of trust and believe she had on Jerk.

Until 2 weeks ago.

Angel`s friend, Bee, called her to inform her that Jerk has gotten married.

Angel`s world came crushing down.

He was still sleeping with her and accusing her of being disloyal, even as preparation for his wedding was going on!

Now, what do we call a male like that? I don’t know what to call Jerk, even though I have uttered every single bad word I can think of while listening to this story, but I can only call Angel Stupid, with a capital S.

How can such a woman, who allows herself to be treated like dirt, still exist in this world…in my country, where women are given equal rights and opportunity?

The worst part is Angel does not even have someone close by to offer her a shoulder to cry on. She has been calling my cousin everyday, morning and night. For the past 2 weeks, they have been on the phone for at least 5 hours a day. I guess when your whole life seems bleak; phone bills are regarded as a petty thing. She even contemplated suicide; only her love for her parents prevented her.

Angel and Jerk has spoken once after his wedding. He claims he could not possibly have married Angel as they are from different religious beliefs. That was the last straw for Angel. Of all the excuses a man could make for breaking a woman’s heart, he had to come up with the most incredulous lie. Angel has not stopped cursing herself for being so naïve and, in her own words, stupid.

Angel is coming to the city next week. She hopes to start afresh in a different environment and people. We are helping her to find a new job in the city. We can only hope and pray that Angel will eventually learn to love and respect herself again.

************************************************************
To Angel,

Sometimes you just gotta figure if he doesn't care, you're missing out on someone that does.



Hope