the storm in me

Being in love is the most complicated thing in the world. You figure that you have figured your guy out, and out of the blue, you learn something new about him. Then you have to adapt to it. Of course, you don’t do it in the best of moods. To make it worse, he points out your new trait, and you begrudging accept that he too, is learning to adapt to your many moods. But still! Being in love is like eating Mexican food. Spicy, sweet, hot, cold, sizzles, pepper, red, orange, green. One moment you absolutely enjoy it. And the next you are throwing a tantrum because the taste is so unpredictable. What is it about this feeling? You want it, but sometimes you just want to strangle it. You cry, you laugh, and you sit through 3 hours to watch a lousy movie in the name of love. One moment you swear on your ancestors’ graves that you would not utter a single word to him, and the next you fling yourself to him and cling on for your dear life. You yearn for his warm embraces, but frustrated at the fact that you need it so very much. You want to control him, control his thoughts and actions, yet do not want him to change, because you were attracted to him because of his thoughts and actions in the first place. It’s a rollercoaster, making you dizzy, but you get on it again and again. It`s never black and white. Kaleidoscope. It`s thunder, and storm. It brings out the best and worse in both you and me. I don`t understand it. But I feel it. You love me. And I love you. But damn it`s complicated.